I'M BACK (but I've got some problems)!!!

Aaaahh yes. I finally feel up to blogging again, even though I don't
have the benefit of something like Ritalin or Provigil. Still, I once
again feel like posting my genius-level observations.

But, as mentioned above, there are problems. I need a laptop (PLEASE
DONATE THROUGH MY FIBROMYALGIAN SITE!) because my nearly-ten-year-old
computer isn't cutting anything anymore, barring me from the Internet
and anything else I need to blog.

SO: I have to post with my phone, which keeps my posts short (for some
reason the phone keeps my e-mails to a certain, rather short length).
So I can't post short stories or even flash fiction.

BUT: I can and will post what I can and do all I can to make my
hamstrung posts as wicked-sweet as possible.

Which boils down to this plea: Beloved readers, please come back to
me! I swear I'll never hurt you again!

--
Essays About Anything: http://essaysaboutanything.blogspot.com

The Fibromyalgian: http://fibromyalgian.blogspot.com

An Addition To My Previous Prediction That the Next War Will Be With Pakistan

I'M BACK TO MY BLOG BABY!!!

Months ago I blogged that our next war will be with Pakistan.

If I remember correctly (can't check past post because I now have to
post using my phone), I didn't go farther than my prediction.

So it's important to note that a war with Pakistan will not be simply
with Pakistan. Pakistan has allies, India (Pakistan's eternal enemy)
has allies. Arabic and majority-Muslim countries (ie, the "Muslim
World," an inapt and offensive term) will side with Pakistan. Russia
will side with Pakistan.

And so we'll have World War III in our time.

And Christian and Muslim fundamentalists will be it's biggest cheerleaders.

(You can, with my love and eternal gratitude, help me get a laptop
with donations through my FIBROMYALGIAN site so my thumbs don't fall
off. And if people are kick-ass enough to help me out, I'll be
transparent about the process and let everyone know how much I take
in, and when donations no longer are needed for Project Get Bandini A
Laptop. Heart all of you!)

--
Essays About Anything: http://essaysaboutanything.blogspot.com

The Fibromyalgian: http://fibromyalgian.blogspot.com

Dear Willie Mays (OxyClean Guy):

For the love of god stop yelling at me already!

--
Essays About Anything: http://essaysaboutanything.blogspot.com

The Fibromyalgian: http://fibromyalgian.blogspot.com

UPDATE!

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I've been off Ritalin for... eh, maybe a month-and-a-half, and haven't been able to write a single sentence that would be of any interest to readers.

Tomorrow I see my doctor. I'm going to get down on my knees, praise her as the goddess of all creation (or at least my personal goddess of pain control), and beg like hell for Provigil.

I can walk and move and a lot of things I couldn't before. But I can't write.

Anything of interest. (See this post.)

Hope to be back soon... And with a wicked vengeance.

PS: Posted in an Apple store. Buy a MacBook.

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Why I Haven't Been Posting:

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Since moving to Portland I've been weaned off the medication I was using to assuage my chronic fatigue (a disorder comorbid with fibro), and now can't get anything done. I have a ton of half-posts I can't finish, which is just as well because they would seem half-assed because I can't focus, think, ad infinitum.

I'm working on getting a shrink who can get me on Provigil and should then be able to write. In the meantime, please stop by from time to time. When I can give my un-posted crappy drafts the care they deserve, you'll be deluged with the best writing since Shakespeare.

I hope to get a shrink and some Provigil ASAP. I figure I should be back on attack in mid-April.

As ever: Stay Tuned!

Kisses!

--C. Bandini
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Prelude To A Father-Son Conversation

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"Jesus goddam that bus was fifteen minutes late today! Fifteen this time!"

"We gotta go or somethin'?"

"We gotta hurry."

"H'come?"

"H'come?

Well son, you know how Mommy squeezed the life from Daddy's hopes and dreams--"

"'Course Dad."

"--and how the only thing that makes her happy is Daddy's misery and on forever like that?"

"Yes, Father."

"Well, I'll tell you when we get in the car."
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It's not funny.

>
The homeopath
went on about
the evils of
antimalarial drugs
while slurping a
Gin and tonic --
the drink invented
(as tradition has it)
so India-colonizing Brits
could take their
antimalarial, bitter Quinine tastefully.

Samuel Hahnemann
took Quinine
some time after
he quit practicing medicine
and used its effects
to formulate
his invention:
homeopathy,
and its principal tenet
"like cures like."

Which makes arsenic
the cure for arsenic poisoning,
once it is diluted (or "succussed") in
water
until the
water
no longer contains a
single
atom
of arsenic.

Which makes pure, uncontaminated
(by the time the ill person takes it)
water
the homeopath's cure for everything
and the gin and tonic-swilling homeopath
an idiotic scammer
or, more likely,
dumb enough to
have been scammed herself
into scamming other idiots
since she
holds that Quinine is evil
though it led to the invention of the
bullshit quackery
that pays her bar bills.

Quinine info: Wiki.
Hahnemann info: Wiki.
Homeopathy info: Wiki.
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