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Portland has more microbreweries than any other city in the entire world. (Wiki)
Portland is singlehandedly responsible for PBR making a comeback across the entire country. (read this and this)
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Friday, February 27, 2009
England for the English.
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A primary advantage of Britain's Constitutional Monarchy, and the primary reason the queen leads the State Opening every year in full regalia, is that the nation's populace is made ironically though still painfully aware it could, as it has more often than not, be led by a single person's whim.
She makes the members of the Houses of Lords and Commons seem like saviors.
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A primary advantage of Britain's Constitutional Monarchy, and the primary reason the queen leads the State Opening every year in full regalia, is that the nation's populace is made ironically though still painfully aware it could, as it has more often than not, be led by a single person's whim.
She makes the members of the Houses of Lords and Commons seem like saviors.
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Monday, February 16, 2009
Foot baths for fibromyalgia!
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A friend told me her Mom has been much better lately, since she began using Fentanyl patches. (I had to tell her how to correctly pronounce "Fentanyl," and what it is.)
She told me she's proud that her Mom is less dependent on pills, an extremely subtle way of calling me a pseudo-addict pussy because I have to gobble massive quantities of orally administered medicine each day.
"My Mom looks at things differently."
Her Mom uses foot baths to help relieve her pain.
My friend equates her Mom feeling better with her Mom's decreased intake of narcotic pills.
She's right to do so. Her Mom can take fewer pills because her Mom is now on a drug hundreds of times more powerful than morphine. And than what I take.
My friend hates pharmaceuticals. Hates pills. Hates her Mom.
My friend ascribes her Mom's recent pain-decrease to her Mom's sunnier disposition. And to foot baths.
Not to the most powerful narcotic known to humanity.
This narcotic -- Fentanyl: so strong it's dosages are in micrograms, not milligrams -- has allowed Mom to have a sunnier disposition by decreasing her pain. Fentanyl has allowed Mom to take foot baths because now she can sit up for long periods without squirming in pain.
...I remain closed-minded and refuse to swap my pills for smiles, foot baths and Fentanyl. I'm doing all right with much weaker stuff (and a smile is a gateway expression) except for a drooling, teeth-grinding, fist-clenching hatred for fuckwad naturopaths who haven't heard of fibro but know I can be cured. And tell me how after I make it clear I'd rather not hear how.
Suggested cures have always involved something a fibromyalgian should never be subjected to, like chiropractic (for this example): someone applying crushing force directly to one's trigger/tender points.
If chiro cures fibro, then I expect to be able to cure broken bones by attacking fractures with sledgehammers.
...Jesus. I need a smile and a foot bath.
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Questions (and no Googling for the answers):
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No Googling -- but the answers are below.
1) How many US soldiers have died in Operation Attack Iraq Because Bush II Has A Vendetta?
2) How many Iraqi civilians?
3) How many US soldiers have died in the war in Afghanistan?
4) How may Afghan civilians?
5) How many Osama bin Ladens?
6) How many angels can dance on the point of a needle?
ANSWER KEY:
1) About 4,000. (There have been 4,242 confirmed deaths among the Coalition of Nations Dumb Or Asshole Enough To Send Their People To War Based On the Bush II Administration's Word. And I naturally estimate that the vast majority of those killed were US soldiers.)
2) Between about 91,000 and 99,000.
3) 651 US soldiers killed . Forty-nine were killed in 2002. 155 were killed in 2008, more than any other year. More than in 2002, 2003 and 2004 combined.
The total losses among all invading countries: 1,077.
4) Short answer: No one knows. Which seems fine because the vast majority of the Western World doesn't want to know.
"Estimates of civilian deaths based on media reports since the invasion of Afghanistan in October 2001 range from 4,800 to 7,000 killed by US and NATO forces, with another 3,000 deaths caused by insurgent actions. As in Iraq, figures derived from media estimates must be considered an under-estimation due to the lack of reportage of many incidents and the unknown numbers of wounded who died later of their injuries.
"The figure does not include the tens of thousands of alleged 'Taliban' deaths. In the past three years, media accounts based on US and NATO body counts add up to well over 10,000 fatalities among the insurgents. On a number of occasions, it has been subsequently established that the victims were innocent Afghan civilians." (World Socialist Web Site )
5) Zero. However, the US secretly launched Operation Natural Death years ago. Therefore, the number is expected to go up at any time.
6) Only one, and only if it's a gifted dancer. Thomas Aquinas holds that angels cannot occupy the same space -- or, as he has it, "contain" the same space. ("God and Reason In the Middle Ages," Edward Grant -- see the subsection Angels and Natural Philosophy, page 255.)
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No Googling -- but the answers are below.
1) How many US soldiers have died in Operation Attack Iraq Because Bush II Has A Vendetta?
2) How many Iraqi civilians?
3) How many US soldiers have died in the war in Afghanistan?
4) How may Afghan civilians?
5) How many Osama bin Ladens?
6) How many angels can dance on the point of a needle?
ANSWER KEY:
1) About 4,000. (There have been 4,242 confirmed deaths among the Coalition of Nations Dumb Or Asshole Enough To Send Their People To War Based On the Bush II Administration's Word. And I naturally estimate that the vast majority of those killed were US soldiers.)
2) Between about 91,000 and 99,000.
3) 651 US soldiers killed . Forty-nine were killed in 2002. 155 were killed in 2008, more than any other year. More than in 2002, 2003 and 2004 combined.
The total losses among all invading countries: 1,077.
4) Short answer: No one knows. Which seems fine because the vast majority of the Western World doesn't want to know.
"Estimates of civilian deaths based on media reports since the invasion of Afghanistan in October 2001 range from 4,800 to 7,000 killed by US and NATO forces, with another 3,000 deaths caused by insurgent actions. As in Iraq, figures derived from media estimates must be considered an under-estimation due to the lack of reportage of many incidents and the unknown numbers of wounded who died later of their injuries.
"The figure does not include the tens of thousands of alleged 'Taliban' deaths. In the past three years, media accounts based on US and NATO body counts add up to well over 10,000 fatalities among the insurgents. On a number of occasions, it has been subsequently established that the victims were innocent Afghan civilians." (World Socialist Web Site )
5) Zero. However, the US secretly launched Operation Natural Death years ago. Therefore, the number is expected to go up at any time.
6) Only one, and only if it's a gifted dancer. Thomas Aquinas holds that angels cannot occupy the same space -- or, as he has it, "contain" the same space. ("God and Reason In the Middle Ages," Edward Grant -- see the subsection Angels and Natural Philosophy, page 255.)
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Friday, February 6, 2009
Honey Bucket!
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After seeing the below, I cared much less about being allergic to honey and, therefore, not being able to consume it.
Mm-mm!
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After seeing the below, I cared much less about being allergic to honey and, therefore, not being able to consume it.
Mm-mm!
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The Eternal Order Of Reasonably Civilized Monkeys.
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The drawing I made and posted previously has something to do with something known as The Eternal Order Of Reasonably Civilized Monkeys.
How so? That is: How do I know the two are related?
I saw the writing and the drawing together, scribbled in marker on a bar's bathroom stall. Scribbled in the same hand.
So we have a group of bathroom vandalizers. Or -- which would be more fun -- organized crime with a funky name. Or anything in between.
No matter. I probably don't want to know. Finding out could result in physical pain (if we're dealing with organized crime) or disappointment or anything in between. Disappointment would be caused simply by knowing exactly what the Civilized Monkeys truly are. Then they would cease to be whatever I imagine they could be. And whatever they really are can't be as interesting as the hundreds of things I imagine they may be.
The drawing I made and posted previously has something to do with something known as The Eternal Order Of Reasonably Civilized Monkeys.
How so? That is: How do I know the two are related?
I saw the writing and the drawing together, scribbled in marker on a bar's bathroom stall. Scribbled in the same hand.
So we have a group of bathroom vandalizers. Or -- which would be more fun -- organized crime with a funky name. Or anything in between.
No matter. I probably don't want to know. Finding out could result in physical pain (if we're dealing with organized crime) or disappointment or anything in between. Disappointment would be caused simply by knowing exactly what the Civilized Monkeys truly are. Then they would cease to be whatever I imagine they could be. And whatever they really are can't be as interesting as the hundreds of things I imagine they may be.
Reality is no fun.
Still. I need to know what's up. And will likely take some trouble to find out, since everything is my business.
Therefore, the recommendation (which has been kid tested, mother-approved*) is that you Stay Tuned, Blogfriends, for further installments of Calvin Bandini In: The Case of the Mysterious Monkeys!
Therefore, the recommendation (which has been kid tested, mother-approved*) is that you Stay Tuned, Blogfriends, for further installments of Calvin Bandini In: The Case of the Mysterious Monkeys!
*I ripped off the Kix slogan. Kix is a cereal best eaten with heaping teaspoons of refined sugar.
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Thursday, February 5, 2009
Panic: We are hanging here.
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My attempts to load incompatible software onto my aged Mac have ultimately resulted in this:
I start up the computer and get a very strange screen with very strange words and numbers that end with
"panic: we are hanging here"
...Ohhhh-kay.
Looks like a complete reinstall is in my future.
A reinstall I will have to perform in a state of panic. Because they're hanging here.
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My attempts to load incompatible software onto my aged Mac have ultimately resulted in this:
I start up the computer and get a very strange screen with very strange words and numbers that end with
"panic: we are hanging here"
...Ohhhh-kay.
Looks like a complete reinstall is in my future.
A reinstall I will have to perform in a state of panic. Because they're hanging here.
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The devil had an aisle seat.
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Since moving to Portland, the following has happened:
The mayor (Sam Adams) has become involved in what is being considered a scandal, in which the mayor lied about fucking around with an 18-year-old. Fucking around with an 18-year-old is legal. Portland's mayor is openly gay. Politicians lie.
A guy shot nine people in downtown PDX. Killed two teenage girls and himself, wounded the others. Gets far less news coverage than does the above item re the mayor.
The ability to tax cigarettes and alcohol is being sought by the state legislature.
...And so it seems derangement and evil took the same plane here that I did.
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Since moving to Portland, the following has happened:
The mayor (Sam Adams) has become involved in what is being considered a scandal, in which the mayor lied about fucking around with an 18-year-old. Fucking around with an 18-year-old is legal. Portland's mayor is openly gay. Politicians lie.
A guy shot nine people in downtown PDX. Killed two teenage girls and himself, wounded the others. Gets far less news coverage than does the above item re the mayor.
The ability to tax cigarettes and alcohol is being sought by the state legislature.
...And so it seems derangement and evil took the same plane here that I did.
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Sunday, February 1, 2009
Caring Is Creepy.
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I knew finally
that she wasn't
attracted to me
after I asked her
if she was and
she said she wasn't.
Still, one night
I insisted we meet
and I kissed her.
Before she got mad
I said
"Thanks. I can't
taste
my dead grandfather's forehead anymore."
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I knew finally
that she wasn't
attracted to me
after I asked her
if she was and
she said she wasn't.
Still, one night
I insisted we meet
and I kissed her.
Before she got mad
I said
"Thanks. I can't
taste
my dead grandfather's forehead anymore."
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