The Cure

[The below was written in about a half-hour. While I had a headache. ...These are excuses for the below being choppy and pretty stupid.]

Right now -- no matter when you're reading this -- a very large number of humans are making excuses not to have sex with their boyfriends or girlfriends.

Buddhists know that life is suffering. Millions of them turning down sex.

Without Hinduism the Western world would would be stuck in the missionary position and sex wouldn't be the highest art. Still, millions of Hindus saying "not right now honey."

Married Jews, Christians, Muslims, obligated by their respective gods (can we be adults and admit the Abrahamic religions worship different things?) to procreate, have the go ahead from on high to fuck without rubbers or the pill -- completely unencumbered -- but millions of them are too tired.

Agnostics, atheists, Wiccans, Satanists, Other: Millions of these people have headaches or other sudden, as nonexistent as atheists consider gods, ailments that preclude them from taking a moment's pleasure. (But at least a half-hour when done correctly.)

Millions of people in this world have easy access to the very reason humans exist: to procreate, and so to perform the act that can result in procreation. And millions are ensuring that they not do it.

And you're not off the hook either gays, lesbians, transgendered people, etc. Not when you're the perfect segue into my next point.

Evolution has taken millions of years to ensure that sex is its own reward. That it feels good. And millions (billions?) don't drink or take drugs, so an orgasm is the best thing they're going to feel. (Well, an orgasm is the best thing anyone will feel whether they're into drink and/or drugs. But coming while on pure Ex is -- I'm getting off track.)

Still: So many people in this world have spent a lot of today's thought on a reason or even a full-blown plan that will get them out of "having" to fuck tonight.

The human race has something deeply wrong with it.

We are commanded by religions, by gods, by greedy genes, by the pleasure principle, by what seems to be common sense, ad infinitum, to fuck each other. But we don't want to. (But will tomorrow dear. Promise.)

Millions of us genuinely do feel too tired, too stressed, too overwhelmed, too depressed, too anxious, too fill in the blank to have sex right now.

But even the above, seemingly valid, "reasons" to skip sex are incredibly stupid.

Millions (billions?) of people wake up in the morning, have to be somewhere (work, for instance), so they drink the caffeinated beverage of their choice. It makes them feel more awake.

And sex makes people feel less tired, less stressed, less overwhelmed, less depressed, less anxious, less fill in the blank. It's proven beyond all doubt.

But millions of people deny themselves and their lover something guaranteed by their own humanity to make them feel good. Or at least better than they had pre-coitus.

Millions of people are turning each other down right now because their guy or gal angered them in some way at some point (maybe just today, or maybe repeatedly). So sex is withheld for the purpose of denying the other person momentary happiness.

Millions of wives/husbands/girlfriends/boyfriends/other aren't fucking the person next to them in bed because that person didn't do a chore they were supposed to take care of today.

Which puts sex on the level of a chore and relationships on the way to their demise.

So fucking what (pun intended, and intended to induce a groan since it very well may be the only one you make today) if someone forgot to pick up something on the way home despite the fact you reminded someone more than once. So fucking what if someone should have washed the dishes since you cooked and, furthermore, clattered around in the sink as loudly as you could to remind someone that someone was being an asshole?

So fucking what so fucking what so fucking what?

Your response is to deny both of you the best thing either of you can experience? Especially when angry sex is the best sex people in long-term relationships can have?

To deprive your someone you're depriving yourself. You're taking the exact kind of shit in the middle of your bed resentment best mushrooms from.

Too stressed to fuck? Fucking will relieve your tension. Pissed off? Punch your someone in the guts then fuck your someone's brains out.

Millions: Stop making excuses, stop denying yourselves the best thing you have in your lives and drop trou already.